W just called me and asked if she could go have a drink with a girlfriend when i get home....i was a bit silent when she asked...immediateley she goes on defensive and says "never mind, just thought i would ASK"
Since she said "never mind" I think you should go home and not say another word to her about it.
Why? Because this has the smell of a possibility of the OM written on it.
If she is planning something deceitful, then she will more than likely find a way to get out of the house tonight. Either trying to guilt you or starting a fight, or telling you again that you are controlling...
You need to be wise here. Just because the OM got caught and seemed to end it with your wife doesn't mean squat yet. Your wife just can't shut off her feelings on and off any more than the rest of us can.
BEWARE. You were naive once and said you now know the signs of an affair... Well I must say.. By her calling you and asking if she can have drinks with her girlfriend is one of the oldest lies and oldest stories in the book on how to get out of the house when you are having an affair. Blame the friend is as old as dirt.
I would assume you are feeling guilty and that you are wanting to show her you aren't controlling, so you want to tell her she can go out with her girlfriend because of that reason.
Tough predicament for you. I would say nothing when I got home and then see if she finds another reason to leave. This would give you another clue that something IS up.
She may be hoping or expecting you to bring it up when you get home and tell her to go ahead. I don't think she is done yet on going out tonight. Remember. She KNOWS you are watching her every move and will try other tactics to outsmart you. BEWARE
