I understand what you are going through. I am not saying this is right or wrong, but I choose not to have any contact with him regarding the kids activities or inlaws. This prevents those "feelings" from popping up. You have to live like he is not in your life at all. My ex looks at these little "connections" as control and control equals being his mother. If my kids have activities, they will tell him or he can look it up on the school website.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
T- i think you are right. I have tried so hard to totally withdraw FOR ME!! I can NOT believe how just any sort of contact still gets in my head!!
I agree with you ... and I beleive this is the last time I will do that. She (d13) communicates with him about just about everything.. I guess I was trying to make it special.
Trying so freakin' hard to move forward. I just feel like I keep getting stuck. Literally stuck.
thank you for understanding.. thank you for listening.
just a bad day.. ugh
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Hi Cagz...hoping your day gets better! Its a beautiful day here on the coast...hope its pretty your way too!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
CagZ change your perspective instead of thinking of the negative of your ex. He is a broken man who made mistakes. Let it go and remember the good times and not the hurt and pain.
Try praying for some compassion towards him and pray for your ex.
Just my thoughts
Glam
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Just trying not to live in a fairy tale... I do know he is broken. Would not call them mistakes.. but bad choices. AND yes trying to continue to let go.
and praying -- yes I actually pray for him that God will bring him to wholenes..
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
had emailed x about financial matters. of course he didn't respond... saw him that evenning at a softball game for d13. when i asked him about the email he went to lie.. (saying he didn't get it) I said. "dont lie.. i know when you dont respond it means you dont want to answer.." he proceeds to say.. "ok.. I was kinda mad... having a good month and wanted to surprise you with a check paying bla bla bla."
When asked about 2006 taxes he said taht he had paid.. I asked him to give me proof. Send me a copy of the checks or whatever you have so I can have record of it. And he continued to lie..
so yes T - I confronted him .. and again he lied. He lies.
Lies... about everything.
I believe he has become a compulsive liar.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
actually said no to x today. strange... and i wasn't even being vandictive.. wow
he called to tell me to ask if we could switch weekends.. (work related) .. i actually can't. wierd.. d13 and I are going on vacation and will be gone next weekend. so wierd.
i did however make suggestions - she is on spring break this week and he could take a couple days off work (AND YES HE COULD - he is the boss) but he won't.
anyway - wierd.
I feel bad. I know that she likes seeing him.. and you know what .. maybe he can just figure it out. Maybe he can work some and be with her .. be a father instead of a play date.
UGH! Anyway - I do feel sorry for little one.. she likes him. AND I want her to have relationship with him.
Anyway - strange day.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
