I hear what you're saying but it's hard to imagine her as a very good friend, a good friend wouldn't hurt me this way over and over especially when there's DD is involved. When I see her I see a selfish person. It's hard for me to look at her and have feelings for her because I don't even know who I'm looking at anymore. She's not the same person I married and I'm sure she feels the same way about me.
Besides, I keep being the passive one letting her control the situation which keeps me in a limbo i.e. is she seeing lawyers? when is she filing? if she's filing maybe I should beat her to it? what if she's not? maybe she'll see the light and come back? if she comes back then what? she'll leave whenever she wants...again.
All these questions run through my head all day long. Maybe I should file and give her what she wants.
Ah... I can see myself here, too, except I think my H is thinking more like how you're thinking (even though I'm still feeling unsure myself about what HE's doing). I think it would make you feel a little better if you could either say "I don't give an F what she's doing" or if you could take the initiative yourself- at least to consult with an L and talk about the situation so you see where you stand. As people have reminded me, it does not mean you are ready to D, it's just information gathering to protect yourself, and the byproduct might be you feel a little less at her mercy and powerless, too.
I hope you do some stuff for yourself this weekend and have some FUN! Do something that will make you laugh- it helps a little :-)
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
