Been so busy and tired at work...I don't know how you high stressed..long hours.. people do it.
Nothing new..h did come and sit with me at church dinner Wed. p.m. but other than that nothing. I keep thinking about looking at new furniture but I get sad and teary thinking about giving him the old stuff, that we picked together and to me it says "I know you are never coming back"...I should be excited to get new stuff..and I love to shop, but I just don't feel happy doing this..if he asks again I will then hopefully have the chance to tell him how I feel. I know so many of you are wondering what the h*** I am so afraid of to just talk to him...I am not afraid of him, just afraid of the outcome...or maybe I am at a point where if we don't talk it will all go away, but I really know that will not happen.
When I am at work, and I walk into the courtroom, I visualize us there... and I am so saddened. But as I have said for over a year..I am not going to let this pull me under...there is alot of life out there...this week my bil and 30 other people lost their jobs in a family owned business...I look around and try to see all the blessings that are right before me...will work on pma.
