There's this ADHD fact that a typical child with it will act 1/3 less than his age in maturity. As a adult, that may not be true, but I've found that my "immaturity" can be an asset cause I can have fun and keep my energy up when others "my age" might not be able to!
With a R, for me (and possibly him), that also means I may make more mistakes that you may expect he'd/I'd have grown out of.
I don't think you need to respond to that if you do not want to. Maybe instead you need to decide if you can unconditionally love him as his is now - do you love him enough to accept his faults? For the bigger faults, is knowing that he is trying to improve enough, even though it will take time? Can you accept prompting him without judgment?
If I feel my W won't accept me as who am now, and I her, then everything in the next years will rely on "will they ever...?" ideas that we would resent.
So do you really love him, regardless of what he put you through? If you do, leave the self-talk out that will lead to more despair. If not, consider carefully if you want to 'greive' that missing area and still continue.
Probably judgmentally TTA, what you've written in the last few weeks sounds different than the first few weeks in one way - you are sounding more upset about who he is now, despite wanting him. Maybe I've really misunderstood - I do that~
