you agree to the talk, and this is what you say "you know this isn't working out, I get it you don't want to be with me anymore and I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me plus you're just too disrespectful lately and I don't want that anymore, when do you think you can move out? We should probably sit down and discuss details of the separation, how we're going to handle the kids, I'm thinking joint custody, 1 week and weekend for me and then the same for you, alternating each week so that we both have joint shared EQUAL custody"
Man up LD. You can't do this, the roller coaster ride that, going down hill this, haven't reached detachment that.... seriously it's UBER unattractive, if you've been acting like this and I'm sure your body language has been showing this unattractive side if you're not out & out verbally acknowledging all this stuff with your wife.
Let's take a recap of the situation here: - your wife treats you like crap - seems like she's assertive, aggressive, bossy, disrespectful - she's probably been like this for a long time - you've probably been taking this crap behavior for a long time
What are you holding on to? You're holding on to a person who doesn't want to be with you. Look I get it, you love her, but if she can't reciprocate that love back to you because she doesn't want to or because she's interested in someone else (my guess), you are looking pathetic by holding on.
Let go, seriously you can force her to be with you. No amount of anti-depressants is going to fix this, so if you want my 0.02 cents, deal with it, its hard at first but you will be ok, trust me.
You right now have a bigger responsibility at stake, you need to be a strong man for yourself first and for your children second. You can't be this broken person and mope around and take drugs to make you feel betters and all that crap, you have to dig down deep, and find that strength and courage that exists in all of us but it exists in areas where we're scared to go because we need to be pushed past our comfort zones to realize and actualize that hidden potential but it's there, you just have to be brave enough to go get it.
Say you're overweight, you weigh 400lbs. for example. Working out is going to be tough. Dieting is going to be tough. It sucks to work out everyday and it sucks to feel hungry everyday because to lose weight and do it properly you have to count calories, you have to restrict yourself, you have to force your body to use up it's stored body fat and you do that by working out hard and eating alot less. So it's really hard and the reality is you have to do it for a really long time to get back into shape and so far I haven't made any of this sound great or appealing.
But that's the beauty of it, that's the appeal of it. It's tough, when all is said and done and you've lost all the weight and you invested all those hours, days, weeks, months, years into getting into the best shape of your life and seeing your abs again, that's the victory. Of course it was hard, it had to be, anything really worth doing is usually freakin' difficult and it involves doing things that we don't want to do but when you're done and you reached your goal, you're proud of yourself, look at what you accomplished against all odds, you did it.
DB'ing is similar, you have to do the things that are hard, that are uncomfortable, that suck, that are counter-intuitive, you have to act as if, you have to move on, you have to do 180's which means doing things you normally don't do, you have to get a life, you have to show your wayward spouse that if they don't want you anymore, fine, its regrettable that it got to this point but you will be fine, hold that, better than fine, you will be f!@#$%* awesome and it will be there loss and that's the truth, it will be there loss and that's when they'll have their epiphany, that's when they'll say, "I made a mistake, what the hell did I do?!" and then you'll be the one deciding if you want to take this flaky person back into your life because you have really high standards and apparently they don't meet those standards yet, you get to be picky with who you share your life with because YOU CHOOSE TO DO SO!
Are you feeling me bro? I hope so, I hate wasting my breath on people who don't listen.
