one more thought... just when you think you W doesn't care, she might!
Long story short.
Last Fri night was my kid's schools big fundraiser/dinner auction. I am on the BOD, and know the student body, parents and administration well (plus, we've had three kids through there!). Well, at the event, I got a little buzzed (SHOCK), and was bet that I couldn't get the new superintendent (10 years younger than me and BUILT) on the dance floor. "Mrs. M, he just WILL NOT dance. He does NOT dance." Yea, OK... Well, needless to say, Mr. Superintendent was dancing w/me w/in a few minutes (Lady Gaga!), and all had a good time.
Fast forward to last night... My S10 was in the school play, and WHO is there... Mr. Superintendent. While waiting for the play to begin, I'm talking to my H, standing, facing the crowd of people. Mr. Superintendent starts waving at me rather obnoxiously. I give him a smile, a wave, ANOTHER smile... (What is up w/this dude's incessant waving and smiling?!?!) OK, so, I give him one final wave and a wink, almost as a dismissal. H wonders who I'm exchanging all of this with???? I say, "Oh, it's Mr. Superintendent, let me go see what the hell he wants... he's waving, and smiling and kind of obnoxious!" I turn around, and H pulls me back by the shoulder, and says, "I'll go see what Mr. Superintendent wants. YOU stay here!"
Mr. Mindfull went over, shook his hand, and they shared a joke, etc...
But, the point of my story is... My H is friendly, helpful, home, present, etc... but has. in the past, claimed to be completely uninterested anymore. "He can't make me happy anymore." Funny, how a few 180's, a lot of patience, some weight loss and confidence return, start to make him interested in whose getting my attention while he's talking to me!
You may THINK she's not interested. But, she was at one point, right?
Sorry so long.
I think she does still care. Everyone who has talked to her said she is conflicted. But that could just be her public image.
With you guys helping me out and making sense of it (especially Rob's "She doesn't care!" post) I'm getting a much clearer picture of the sitch. And I realizing this has been going on for much longer than I thought. I think Pearl's post on her pov is spot on, but that is only the W's pov and not the entire sitch. I can beat myself up about it, but I can't feel too bad. And she *has* been dragging me down instead of building herself up. I now find myself reverting back to who I was before we met and I'm feeling much happier and a lot less angry.
I was working (and flirting) with the coed grad student this morning (nothing major, she has a boyfriend and I'm way too old for her. Okay... maybe not *way* too old ). I was sharing my carrot sticks, talking about camping, cats, bagpipes, and her being the Venezuelan waltz champion. And then it hit me...
THIS IS WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE DO! She was asking more questions about me in one hour, than the W has bothered to ask in 13 years. In return, every question I had for her, I'd have five more. People are far more interesting when they have hobbies and passions other than just work (duh). And I don't think I lack for hobbies or interests or enthusiasm for new things. The W even has to horn in on *my* interests (like the fish guy camping post), to relate to others.
So, yeah. I think she still cares for me. I just don't think she is *interested* in me. And if we ever make to piecing, how do you fix "boring"?
Don't apologize for the post length. It's nice to read someone else stories instead of listening to me ramble on. Keep 'em coming. --Fergie
). I was sharing my carrot sticks, talking about camping, cats, bagpipes, and her being the Venezuelan waltz champion. And then it hit me...
