There is no reason for her to attend counseling with you. A counselor is not a divorce mediator. If she is set on wanting a divorce there is no purpose to joint counseling. Take a stand..on that and everything else Rob said ^^^^
Go to counseling for yourself. Time to focus on you and the kids. They need a strong dad right now.
The thing I'm milling over is that she stated she wants to go with me. I didn't bring it up to her. I could look at it that she wants to take back what she said or should I just stand firm and let her figure out what she is doing? I've been a doormat in the past but don't want to shut the door yet if she wants to change her mind.
Should I let her swim around like a fish on a hook for while? (I hope you understand my metaphor
