Looking for help with WAW

[sandi2]

If I were you I would confirm that she has indeed moved back in with her parents and don't take it by word of mouth from somebody else. Not that anyone would intentionally lie, but people can misunderstand what they hear. So make sure before you talk with her.

I think a day to think it through might do you good if she's lied to you. But let me tell you how she probably sees this. She wants to be free, so she doesn't want you knowing every single move she makes and this is one of those things. Maybe there is more involed, IDK, but why would she not want you to know she was living with her parents? Unless it is b/c she could not afford an apartment and felt that you would try to get her to move back home since she couldn't make it on her own. I'm just guessing.

I do not think having joint accounts is a good thing when one S is wanting to D. You just told how she lies--but then said you didn't think she would do anything with the money. Never underestimate what a WAW will do. You need to have separate accounts and if you decide to do it, this might be a good time if you call her out about lying to you. That is the best reason for not having joint accounts.....mistrust. But you can ask your IC and see what she says.

Yesterday I emailed her to let her know that a friend of mine passed away and I was going to the viewing last night so I woulnd't be able to call her until today. I asked her if she wanted me to sign her name to the sympathy card. I was dissapointed that she never got back to me last night.

I know that things are more friendly now, and that is great, but let me warn you to be extremly careful about pressing her. You will find all kinds of excuses (even the death of a friend) which seems like a legitimate reason to contact her.....but your disappointment tells the story. Do you see what I mean? I know you can say you were disappointed that she didn't show more concern, etc., but the real reason is b/c she did not return your call. So you will be pressuring her if you are not very cautious. In a case like this, you could just "inform" her about the friend. But asking her if she wanted her name signed to the card with yours signified that you were still trying to tie the two of you together as a couple (pressure) and you used that to try to get her to respond (more pressure). We women can read you men better than you read yourselves sometimes.

I am glad that you are doing well without the AD medication. I use to be on some that made me feel the way you described, which is usually an indication it is not the right kind. If the therapy is working then that is certainly the way to go.

Don't let what I've said discourage you, okay? I don't want to do that.....I just want to help fine tune a few things that might be harder for you to see since you're in the stitch.