Remember, do NOT let her bully you into giving up the source(s) of your intel. "I'm not going to tell you that" is all you need to say. If she asks you what you KNOW, say "I know everything," or "I know plenty, and I can't believe how disrespectful it all is to our family."
Just one example from my own sitch about the power of good intel, and them not knowing what you know and what you don't know:
When I found out about my wife's affair, thru a keylogger on our home computer, I gave her the "I know all about you and _______ , and it needs to stop" speech. In the weeks ahead, she continued to badger me to get me to reveal what I knew, and I would NOT give it up. "I'm not going to tell you, so please stop asking me -- suffice to say that I know just about everything."
Well, the voice-activated recorder in her car once turned up her talking to OM on her cellphone, and she said "I mean, unless he was outside in the bushes that day we were at _______'s house, and watching us thru the window, what could he possibly know? Do you think he has pictures of that?"
Um, no, dear, and I had NO CLUE you had ever been there up until that point, or if the relationship had gone all-the-way physical.
