I am feeling a bit stronger today. I have bought new car, arranged to go for a hike and then cinema next week with friends and the local rambling group, and had a fulfilling day at work. I know deep down that I have both the moral high ground and the sensible attitude in all of this - I'm not the one so obviously on the rebound with someone totally incompatible. In fact come to think of it both the W and the OM are actually on the rebound! It can't possibly work out for them. I found out today that the OM has suddenly started buying outdoors equipment presumably to go hiking with my wife whilst away together. I wish I could be a fly on the wall for that. The OM will be scared of a) breaking a nail, and b) having to wear items of clothing that cost less than �2000 and are distinctly practical rather than beautiful.
The rollercoaster is indeed tough. I've been incredibly low during the last couple of months, and still find myself thinking fleetingly about ending it all almost every day, although I know that I wouldn't do it. Friends are understandably starting to give less support - they have their own lives to lead and can't be propping me up all the time. Besides, most of them are either married or about to get married and I'm sure I'm not a good reminder of what can happen even with the best intentions. It's a good job I'm starting to feel a little bit more myself and able to handle my own company. Something that the W obviously couldn't handle!
Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.
