OIN, you need to act as if she is STAYING..she may not leave; Allen is right, until she makes a move physically; she's still in your house.
I don't want to see you outwardly prepare for her departure, SPECIFICALLY... I want you to get to a better place..emotionally, physically, mentally..that means working on YOU and don't keep worrying if she's back in the R...or if she's leaving...
Cause if she does (and you can't control that), I'm worried about you and your health. Read DR again; one of the tools is GAL, finding what is YOU and returning to it. You sound a lot like I was in my M; my M was my identity. I had lost myself in it. When my W left...I was in shock...I wasn't prepared to be alone...and even if we don't like it; a lot of waywards do walk...mine did.
You are in a good position, however. It appears you have thwarted a possible PA and certainly an EA in its early stages. You are in an enviable position in that you have gotten to DB in the early stages of this marital crisis. Many don't come to DB until it's too late. However, you need to really get healthy and your W WILL notice. That will help attract her back to you. All of the advice you have gotten will help.
Again, I'm concerned about your own mental state of mind. She can sense any negativity; trust me and that's NOT attractive.
Work on yourself OIN and keep a check on the fire at her work. and I stress WORK ON YOURSELF as well!!!
