Good for you. You made your mind up that enough is enough and you told her so. Stick to your guns and don't back down now! Don't try to convince her that the M can still be saved, simply state "I don't want a D, but if that's what you want to do, you file". Like TTA said, you HAVE to let go. It sucks, big time. It's the hardest thing you have ever had to do, but you can and must do it. You must do it for you, not her. Once you do detach and let her know you will be all right no matter what, then you will have your chance to see if you want a R with this alien you have been living with lately.
I have just begun to truely understand what detachment really is and it does give you the power to cope with everything. I am still working on it and fall into a panic at times but those times are fewer and don't last as long anymore.
I hope you can save your marriage, that's what we all want! You must save yourself first!
