Ok, 2x4 me if I am wrong but....


You do not want a divorce. He has not really pushed for a divorce.
He does not seem likely to push the divorce at this point.

Could it be that you should not pursue a divorce? Of course, you shouldn't. It's not what you want.

Maybe he is just feeling guilty about his indecision and wanting to be, in his own mixed up way, kind, by giving you permission to get a divorce? Well, don't get something you don't want. And don't lessen his feelings of guilt by accepting his offer of it being ok for you to go get a divorce or time for you to do so or whatever.

Keep db'ing. You have lots of positives in your sitch. Keep focused on yourself. Take some classes. Get active in your church. Spend time with family and friends. And for goodness sakes, pamper yourself. Get lots of rest, eat well, take bubble baths and watch great movies or read some good books. Get a new hobby...take up painting, or pottery, or scuba diving...lol...anything you want. Be selfish and yet be selfless...take care of you first, so you can take care of others around you.
Start going out and doing things. Casually let him know about your new interests and activities. This should be easy, you two seem to have a great relationship as friends...take a chance...start to woo him again...slowly at first, just by becoming more interesting, more independent, more of a challenge....and at the same time be his friend, his confidant, and the mother of his children. Compliment him. Thank him when he does something nice. And validate....tell him you understand that he is going through something right now...tell him you know he needs his own space....tell him whatever it is that he so desperately needs to know that you are hearing from him....so far I have not heard him saying he wants a divorce...just that you could get one if you want. So, work it baby, work it....db.
Let him see that you are a new exciting version of the same gal he fell in love with so many years ago...and let him fall in love with you all over again.....there's a good chance that you can make it happen. After all, you are an amazing, loving, kind, intelligent, wonderful woman.

I am responsible for my own happiness.