MC Hate the Dawgs! Actually I always root the SEC especially this year when Bama served up some Longhorn burgers with a side SEC BBQ sauce! Sorry Lola.
Lola Irish/Italian? Me too. Mom's the mick.
I know I see a lot of people on here who connect on the alt (FB etc) I don't know about that. What do you think? I like having the privacy I think. I really don't use FB. I am on there. W uses it all the time.
That's one of the things I had to stop doing was looking on there to see what she was up to. I had to detach.
I do feel that there is a higher sense of security and respect with the people who post here. Meaning I think what gets talked about here stays here.
I think I am more concerned about my W's privacy. Only a few people know that she is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and that does not include her family. I felt I had to share that here as you did with your H.
Have you connected on FB with folks here? MarriedCrazy you've been here longer what's your take on it?
Goooo Gators!
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
I am the opposite..father is the mick..mom off the boat.
I haven't connected with anyone on FB for the same reasons you mentioned. My H got off of FB once I exposed his A. He was never really into it in the first place....my company has a network setup..so I was always careful about what I post...and I untag pics and delete wall posts that my friends 'think' are funny to post. Nobody at work knows about my M sitch so I am on high alert to make sure nobody writes something related to my M. I still wear my 'decoy' ring to work.
Grit, I personally have connected with some people thru FB early on in my sitch. It occurred early on in my heavy FB usage as well. As I started to connect with real world friends; I became sketchy on who I communicated with from DB, for all the same reasons that you and Lola have stated. When I started on FB and DB, my W was NOT a friend of mine on FB. Now she is and since we are processing our D, I refrain from commentary on my marriage totally on FB.
There are a few people that I still keep in contact with on FB and they no longer post here. The majority of the those that I "friended" sit in the background of my online world.
I don't necessarily think it's a bad idea to connect on FB; but you have to treat it the same as how you would connect with people in real life. Let's just say if we were all sitting in a support group and had just met each other; how comfortable would we be giving up our personal info in that situation?
Back when I started here at DB, this forum was moderated pretty heavily and it was difficult to get in touch with DB'ers on FB. The policy in place preventing PMs and exchange of personal information is in place to protect individuals in this very vulnerable period. Plus, there are predators who may come on here to exploit that pain and vulnerability. and MWD doesn't want this to become a dating site!!
on a different note, some people create alternate ID's for FB so that they can separate their real life from their DB life.
I have de-friended a couple of people...mostly because we don't really know each other anyway. Over time, as I heal; I'll probably drop most of my DB friends, save about 3 of them that I have come to really like.
So my opinion, is that FB and DB is a mixed bag. Treat your virtual relationships the same as you would your real life relationships.
That's my concern too. And if you friend someone then it blasts it out on your wall. If anyone tried to figure out who I was through someone else on here they could do it I think if you were posted as friends. But if we don't friend the people we want to connect with could just send messages through FB. I am not worried about W knowing about anybody I converse with. She knows my integrity on that level. She might be concerned if she knew the content of my posts here.
Again I would just be worried of the personal info we share here not being anonymous to someone just lurking here.
Plans tonight? This weekend?
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
Yeah...tonight is my Beef's night with W's step-father..usually my kids go with me.
Tomorrow is cleaning during the morning, little league in the afternoon, then me and my boy are going bowling tomorrow night. My D is going with the W to Princess on Ice.
Reading Why Men Like Bitches (Sherry Argov)0- as someone on here suggested..and I just pulled out a section that may resonate with many of us...even though the book isn't written with the 'married but in crisis' audience in mind..it is still interesting.
If you let on that you are insecure about winning him over, he will know he has you. And if he knows he has you, it's unlikely you will engender that overwhelming feeling of attraction that is necessary for him to want to marry you. Once it's obvious you are totally 100 percent hooked, there is nothing exciting about you anymore.
A man taking on a new relationship is like a young boy opening a new jigsaw puzzle for the very first time. If he opens up the box and the puzzle is already put together, all the fun and excitement is taken out of it. But if the kid has to think, imagine, strategize, and put all the little pieces together, his mind is being stimulated. And then the little boy is tickled pink.
When it comes to securing a man's interest in commitment, your best strategy is to behave as if you like him, but you aren't that interested in locking him down. The objective is not to be standoffish, just low key. The lower the profile, the more he'll come in for the kill. And by "low profile" I mean, appear happy to see him, just don't assume the role of his girlfriend. When you don't step into that role, he'll lower his guard and begin to pursue you.
I might take another riding lesson tomorrow. Tonight probably kicking back and put steak on the grill with my folks (that's where I live for the moment) I got a great bottle of CA blend wine I bought last weekend and haven't got to it yet.
I've been invited to a party tomorrow night but it's at a bar and I've been trying to keep myself out of harms way on that side i.e. drowning my sorrows.
This crew runs pretty hard. So I've been abusing myself in other ways like falling off horses.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
