Right there with you Hoping. I got my talk 10 days ago now (I asked for it when his behaviour made it clear that he wouldn't be coming home as he had said).
It makes you question everything doesn't it? Have I just been in denial all this time I thought I was DBing? Why won't he just try?? I have so many good ideas!!
What I have realised is that I cannot be the one to call it quits, or I will never feel I tried hard enough. But on the other hand I don't want to wait around in limbo and holding out false hope if it stops me from working on myself and being ready for new opportunities.
So I have decided that the door is still open, but nobody is at the reception desk anymore. I am looking after me while maintaining a friendship (despite my aching heart).
And you know what? DBing has worked to a point - he once blamed me, couldn't bear to look at me, was angry with me. That has all gone. While he is often distant, there are times when we can laugh together - and for the sake of our children we have to remain friends.
I am reading a lovely book - Good News for Bad days by Peter Keenan. Its very spititual (not usually my style, I'm very practical), but I have found it very calming. There is opportunity for growth in every crisis if you choose to experience it. Listen to your heart and it will guide you to what you need to help you.
