feeling especially low today...not sure why. NC yesterday and i know he saw his IC on wednesday. just sort of overwhelmed by all of this today, i'm letting my inner pessimist get the best of me. must be the weather. wink anyway, i do have plans tonight and i worked out with my sister yesterday, so i'm doing my best to keep up my focus on gal. but i do have days where i feel like when i'im doing the gal thing, i'm just filling a void and everyone around me can tell i'm faking my smile.

i feel like my heart weighs 100 pounds today. i won't indulge myself, but i could very easily end up face down on the couch tonight in tears. that kind of day. frown

my rational mind is assuring me that i'll be fine and that no matter what happens, i will solider on and get through this. my emotional mind, however, is feeling like a big fat sad sack today and that's really weighing me down. i know i'll have fun out with my friends tonight, but that seems like a long way away and how on earth will i fill my time not thinking about my H until then...

i miss my husband.

Me30 H29
M2.5 T5
H moved out 1/23/2010
H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010
...feeling hopeless