She Say's She Want's Out Of The Marriage

[Surviving03]

Yes I know, its crazy hard... and I havent detached either... but I do mean it in a mental way, not just no calls or what not...its like getting to a point where you dont care what happens either way...not that you dont care cause of course you do...but that you can deal with it either way...and you can step outside of this and look at it from a new perspective, not as the victim, but see that while yes you do love your W and you want your M... it does not make or break YOU as a person... love your W, but love yourself more... when i get home i can find the article.

Ok, so I think you are correct, when you get home will be only the beginning... right now there is no way to know what that will be like. How it played out for me was this: building up to him coming home i was just like you are now, its the constant fear of the unknown, but also that extra glimmer of hope because you dont know... my anxiety was much worse building up to him returning that it has been since he has been here. So thats a plus... it was like i had been waiting and waiting for him to get here to see... and then he was here, and that anxiety escaped...and then i had a new set of things to deal with, life now that he is here. Once he got home, it was all about what actually was happening, not what COULD happen... so its a little bit easier in that sense... but honestly, i can see that i went wrong with not following the DB rules... i pushed a little too much too soon and expected too much... and it backfired for sure... so you HAVE to detach emotionally or you will do it too