Well....as some of you who have followed me for awhile know that I have put off bringinh up any r talks..h came by tonight on way home from work..kinda stood around...our kids were around..one left..then the other..so I said "do you want to talk?" He said he renewed the lease on his apt..that it has been a year, and that he feels so good that he thinks the bad feelings would come back if he did..so that we should really think about an attorney and legally ending the m. I said :do yoou think there is no chance..right now he does not.I asked him if he still loved me..He said"not the way he did 10 years ago"he still cares for me and said that he would continue to do the things we have been doing..but that it is not fair to me if a male asked me to a movie..he knows right now..being m, that I would say no..and that he does not want us to be in limbo or me to be sitting and thinking a year from now that he might come back.I said that I can not finacially make it on my own..he said everything would stay the same..he would pay for the house..just like now. I did ask him if there was someone else......he kinda laughed and said "no".
He said if it took 6 months for me to figure out what I want to do that was ok...he wants to remain friends..to do things with our kids as we do now..then I went and blew it and said "do you think you would ever want to have sex with me again"..he almost choked and then starting laughing..saying he never expected to hear that..and that he was not interested in sex right..we did have a good laugh over it..but it threw him so that he said "on that note I am going home to watch a movie"..but did say to just think about things.
So did I totally make an a** by saying that.........and do move on and get an attorney..I do work with all our local attorney's..so I know a few good ones, and I beleive that we could do it with just one...why do I feel at peace in some ways but of course torn..I knew this day would come and half way knew that it was probably going to be this end result...
Guess I will have to face it now...he did keep saying how great he feels and I told him about finding this bb and had I not, I would have fallen apart..and that I feel like I had been doing so well, he agreed and also said that our pastor had thought I was doing great.
Any words of encouragement would help...does it mean I have to leave piecing?
