She Say's She Want's Out Of The Marriage

[Surviving03]

I know just how you feel tbart... and now more than ever i realize why they advise us here on this board to figure out how to detach ourselves. There is an article floating around here somewhere on detachment, i will have to try to find it. When i read it, it helps me. The purpose of it is a few different reasons: one being that while we are so ATTACHED it does nothing to help our situation, only makes it worse, only pushes our spouse further away.... and two, it helps us maintain our sanity, its phycially and mentally exhausting to be so attached to someone that is not reciprocating our feelings. And three, it will be one step closer for you to heal if things dont end up working out...so its a win/win. It doesnt mean that we act cold or harsh or mean... it just means that we stop depending on our spouse for our own happiness and allow them to figure this thing out on their own. It is toxic to be so attached to someone when they are not attached to us in the same way... it hurts you and it pushes them.... it is easy to do...NO...but it is necessary. Its a mental thing, it doesnt mean you have to start neglecting her and being a jerk... its hard to explain, i gotta find that article.