I agree with 90% of what you have said. However, I don't think that an LDr's lack of sex drive is some malady that is SOLELY their problem to fix.
I believe a large disconnect comes because, in many instances but certainly not all, the LD spouse has NO CLUE why or where their drive went, the LD spouse cannot fathom what sex/intimacy really means to their spouse, and because you can't really miss something that isn't there, they misinterpret their spouse's dismay over the lack as that 'itch that needs to be scratched.'
I think you are correct in saying that as a couple, the LD AND HD spouses together need to explore how to become more sexual and intimate.
My H and I aren't having any more sex now than we were when he was ranting and raving at me. What has changed significantly is the way we communicate and interact with one another, how we listen to and respect one another, and how we trust one another.
That makes all the difference in the world for both of us.
