Quotes found on Divorcebusting (II)

[Ready2Change]

RW,

I'm going to tackle some of your post above.

I have been cheated on, abandoned, and betrayed by the man I love and have been faithful to for over twenty years.

Yes. And you are hurting.

And, despite the fact that I still love him deeply,

Yes you do.

he really "feels nothing" for me.

That's a lie. He feels for you and loves you. Those "feelings" are there. They are clouded and covered at the moment, but they are there.

It is most likely his depression that is causing this.

It is. But don't look at the depression... look at the reasons for the depression. This man has not only betrayed you but he has betrayed himself. He broke his vows. This has caused him to question himself and his very core. He is questioning his ability to make sound choices. He is questioning 1000 other things. He needs to rationalize what he has done. He perceives himself as a complete failure to you - his W, his family, his finances... and whatever else.

But, somehow he "felt" for her... very intensely.

That is true. He did. If he denies this to you he would be lying. He cared for her -- note the PAST tense of this. Something you're going to come to terms with is this: IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. He got suckered in by his lust and by being manipulated.

at some point I may not be able to live with that. I don't know.

Then you will make a decision when that point comes. It is understandable and yes, the truth is... you don't know. Don't waste time and energy on the unknown. Use your abilities on the known and on what you have control over.

Don't I deserve to know what it is like to have a man passionately fight for me, want me, adore me?

Yes you do. Right now your man is wounded. How can you expect a wounded man to get up and fight? You can't, not even the army expects this. You wait for him to heal so he can get up and fight again.

Am I just a stupid hopeless romantic? Am I unrealistic?

I don't think so. You sound like a woman who knows what she wants.

As a matter of fact, I am now starting to look forward to a break from him and the intensity of all this. GAL time!

Yes, yes and yes. Take a break. Concentrate on you for a while.

I'll get back to you on that other stuff but wanted to tackle this first.