Nope, I'm not missing the boat on the physical thing. I do get the emotional connection that comes from sex, believe me I do. I understand that that is where HDers find their confirmation and expression of intimacy and love. I do get it, really, I do.
But please understand that LDers don't just 'decide' one day that sex ain't doing it for them anymore. It isn't some conscious decision we make to withhold and cause our partners undue stress and pain. Can you even imagine for one moment what it would be like to be the one who lost their sex drive? Can you even fathom that? And if you WERE the one to loose your sex drive, what would you do to fill up your love tank?
My point in bringing up the 'what did you do before you were married' scenario was to try and understand the feelings of HDers when your weren't married.
What is it that happens in relationships changes that?
Quote: After all, that was one of the main reasons that I married--because he was so attractive to me that I wanted to make sure that he wasn't going anywhere! I LOVED the fact that I didn't have to sit around and be lonely, bored, whatever as I did in my single days. I loved the fact that I never had to wonder again (or so I thought) how many months would go by before I would have sex again, as I did when I was single.
I don't know, I've got a real problem with this kind of statement. It sounds like an enormous amount of pressure to place on someone else... it sounds like you have made your partner completely responsible for you NOT feeling bored, lonely or horney (just a figure of expression). So not only does your spouse have to take care of themselves, they must also take care of you.
Why is your spouse responsible for your boredom? Why is your spouse responsible for whether or not you feel lonely? Whose feelings are those?
