I have the similar issue. My W birthday as well. I would like to do nothing or maybe a shoe box filled with coal. Lol. I won't do that.
I will get a generic card signed by kids and I, this was advised on here for valentines day. No I love u on the card. A small gift from the kids. This is tough I know.
Be cool calm and attractive at all times. If you want to save your marriage. Detach

M 43 W 43
S15 S 12 D 10
ILYBNILWY ( Dec 2009)
Sleeping separate rooms April 8 2010.
Sep as of 07/14/2010
W moving out 07/31/2010
No OM confirmed ( yet)