WAW Using God II

[25yearsmlc]

another gross possibility is that, like one serial killer did (NO, I'm not saying she's the moral equivalent but there IS an analogy here) --he'd murder and go to confession to "wipe the slate clean" and then, oops, he'd get that itchy feeling again. And he'd kill again. Good thing he could ALWAYS count on forgiveness soooo he'd do it again.

Look, the thing is, "Sin no more" is a tough thing to live by, but it's in there. And she's using God as an excuse to "prove" to her that her gushy feelings for the adultering man, must be "good", and therefore from God...

Has she ever heard of temptation? The reason it's tempting is b/c it has APPEAL and FEELS GOOD... She's confusing it with God's word, and IF Satan were speaking to her, it would NOT be the voice that says "Go back to your family AND the vows you made in MY HOUSE"....nope, it'd be the other voice saying "Do what you think feels good....no matter who it hurts...."

I think your perspective is very good, and I would NOT try to shut down thoughts of other women in the generalized sense. But yeah, dating is another matter --I don't oppose it but I do think your kids have to be insulated. They need to know there's ONE parent putting them first.
Also, I'd have a hard time dunking her. Is she wanting that so that she can pretend all is well with you two, OR she wants permission, OR b/c she's testing you, or testing her feelings or what?? I don't get it.
I'd ask her what she expects from you. She said she understands your mixed feelings and that was telling. At some level, she knows you have been hurt. While you want to be strong, don't let her off the hook so much b/c she only wants the self serving parts of religion and not the tough stuff. Does she think it'll magically make her disciplined by getting baptized? (Hey, who am I to say it's impossible? I'm not really in a position to say, but still, I wonder.)

j-