Ominus Bonus

[steady]

Since my last thread which was back in Sept of last year I'm still on the D train. I made my W and offer that was the best she was going to get.I offered her 50/50 with the kids, no child support (she'd have to pay me with a 50/50 split), I'd leave the 33,000 gift money in the house, and not force the $66,000 that was gifted to our kids to be removed and put into a trust fund for them.

Of course she rejected it. So we volunteered to go through a Forensic Psychological Analysis. For anyone who doesn't know what that is - Each one of us went in and saw a Psychologist. My W and I each saw him 3 times individually. Then each one of us went in to see him with our two kids. He runs us through some stuff, making a house with blocks together, etc..

Then he saw my W and I together twice. He then makes up a report with what he thinks is best for the kids.

I really liked the guy and I was straight up with him. I even had my W's notes and recordings which I turned over to him. I gave him everything, including stuff that seemed not good for me. I wanted to put it all on the table. I figured let the truth stand on it's own.

The end result was he said we are both good parents. We love our kids and they love us. He said we are both attentive to their needs, etc...

When he even mentioned 50/50 my W's jaw hit the floor. She thought she was going to walk into this as a slam dunk. Figuring she'd walk away with the kids.

So he said we needed to get away from each other and suggested rotating in and out of the house and leave the kids there - temporarily till he issues his report and we work out all the logistics.

He said at this point in a S/D it only gets uglier. He said it's at this point where the kids start to get really affected.

So we worked out a schedule of 50/50 rotating in and out of the house.

Getting away from her has been very good for me. It's given me some breathing room and time to settle in a bit. It got really bad by the end, the tension, etc... I couldn't wait to start the rotation.

For the most part we've been exchanging info about the kids by email and text messaging. I like it much better than phone and in person. To tell you the truth I don't really even want to see her in person.

She's done some stupid things - closed our joint account without telling me leaving some outstanding checks and auto withdrawals hanging out there. She tried to change the way we pay our bills - in her plan I get screwed financially. I had to basically force her to put her name on bills that were only in my name - I threatened to just cancel the stuff.

She sent me an email telling me since we paid the bills last month my way (which is the way we always paid the bills) this month she wants to pay the bills her way. I sent an email back saying no thank you. She replied, it wasn't a question. I just replied back, Once again, no thank you.

I'm not playing this cr@p with her.

So we had two cars - an Accord which I always drove, and an Odyssey which she always drove. The lease was up on my Accord so I extended it for 6 months. Both leases are in my name. She decides she doesn't want the Odyssey and she wants to get a Pilot. I imagine the minivan doesn't fit into her new image.

To make a long story shorter I got the minivan and she got a Pilot. She turns around yesterday and sends me an email telling me she wants half the insurance refund for the Accord and half the insurance money that was paid for the Odyssey. I told her no and of course that didn't go over too well. It turns out to be $100. She's nickel and diming me to death...lol.

One of the email threads back and forth landed on some unfinished business between us. I got sarcastic and belligerent in some of it. I dropped too many levels below where I want to be but it's so hard to keep taking the high road when it seems every time I turn around she's trying to screw me out of something.

As most of you know it gets very draining some times. I apologized for the sarcasm and told her it won't happen again. I then sent an email telling her the last few emails got into non productive subjects. I said all that stuff doesn't matter. I'll keep the emails to exchanging information about the kids and the house.

That's the short version update covering the past 7 months.

I've totally given up trying to save my M. I've been focusing on taking care of my kids and protecting my interests. Sometimes it still gets hard and I have my down days. They come fewer and further between.

I've detached so much but there is still some residual threads that I'm hoping will break soon. She isn't the woman I married and she doesn't even resemble someone I would even want to be friends with. Maybe that will change with time, maybe not.

I just have to remember to keep everything like a business deal. Task at hand...that's it.