What you have to say sounds great but wouldn't that be talking to a sane, level headed person?
I'm gonna take into consideration what everyone has said. My H is going to have to choose me and the kids or move out. It's about that time.
Passenger - Thanks I'm really trying to do some things for me but it's hard. I'm sure you know that. Every time I start to feel sad I immediately start thinking positive thoughts and I pray. My H has said a lot of ugly things to me. I remember every single one - that's the problem.
I dropped H off at airport this morning. He gave me a hug goodbye - it's sad. I feel so empty. I have the next 6 days to get some more things together. He comes back for 5 days then leaves again for another 6. We just aren't the family we used to be ever since this job
Ok my 2 things today...
1 - work out 2 - read by the pool
I'm busy organizing today - trying to keep positive and not feel sad.
Luv
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
What you have to say sounds great but wouldn't that be talking to a sane, level headed person?
he's not a crazy person, he's just confused and messed up.
AND because your speaking to a man, where that species HATES to be told what to do, it is always best to start off asking them what they think first. then follow it up with as I said. if he doesn't say something you like, then tell him what you feel should happen and ask him if he can do that, and if he cannot, then tell him your boundary, whatever that might be.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I'm curious. when did your H start this new job? is this when the R downhill began, or before it?
and please remind me of both of your LLs, I have forgotten.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
H started this new job Feb 2009. I knew when he started it what was going to happen. The travel is ridiculous. He didn't travel as much early on but is choosing to go out on closings much more these last 6 months.
The R has gone down hill ever since he started to travel more. At this time evidently started talking to this ow (a coworker) and crossed the line into an EA which has now become PA.
We both have the same LL - physical touch & quality time...in that order. This is what we discussed when he dropped the "maybe we should separate" speech.
Last edited by luvless; 03/26/1004:23 AM.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
What is LL? I hope you are doing okay. My wife said she wants a divorce. I told her she has to do what she has to do, but I did not want a divorce. What was your response to the separation?
Take care of yourself!
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
LL is a Love Language, from the Five Love Languages book by Harry Chapman, very good read. Michele recommends it.
Luv, Distance is so difficult. And she has his time more than you do, it's a tough road. The good news is that most affairs end, but I know that doesn't help your heart now. I also have PT and QT - DH is AA and QT - it's so hard not to touch when PT is your LL.
Pass - thanks for the support. I know most affairs end and that is why I have stayed away from them. I always knew that if I started one it wouldn't last and I wasn't willing to give up my family for something that would not last.
I actually slept through the night but I feel tired. It's a beautiful morning and I'm emotionally exhausted and my day hasn't even begun. Sometimes I think I'd do anything for this to stop - even hoping I don't wake up.
When am I going to go from sad to mad? Get me out of here!
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
L, I go from Sad to Mad in 60 secs. The way you can be mad is by realizing while you may not be perfect (I'm sure you think had you known you'd have done some things differently and we all do) you've given up and sacrificed a lot to keep the family together where as he's in his own la la land only worrying about himself selfishly. He also doesn't want to discuss a lot of things that he maybe thinking and planning. His problem habits haven't changed and might have even gotten worse. Is this the man I want to be with? he's gotta put in his share of work into this and change himself. For starters he's gotta dump that 2 sec beotch! - are you getting mad yet? I'm trying...
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
^^^^My emotions run from sad to mad in a minute flat as well..and then the questions "what am I doing?" and "how did I get here?"...and than I recite the same "conversation with the OW that will never take place"...(I tell myself it is not worth it..and I won't stoop)..
..and than I calm down a bit..devil horns retract back into my head....and I slowly return to baseline.
