I have realized I have a problem about just being happy with myself and just let it be and not pressure my H anymore:
It feels like giving up.
Yesterday I was having a particularly bad day. My husband is in the dumps again on his depression and I was just out of ideas as to how to help him, since he turned down all of my offers to help. At that point he needed me to leave him alone , you know? I did, with a considerable amount of effort, because we are so opposite here (I would crave companionship in his case), but oh well, I thought, I will do what HE needs me to do for him, which IS nothing.
Here the problem comes. As soon as I "forgot" about him, I started really enjoying myself at home, doing my things, just like I did when I was single, If felt like I had "divorced him emotionally" and at that point I was thinking, if this is what it takes to be happy in this marriage, I am in trouble, because it felt like I had giving up some very important part of what loving means to me, which is caring for him. I cannot care and do nothing or do nothing while I still care.
