Hm. You all raise valid points and I honestly understand them. I really do. Rephrase, I FINALLY do. CeMar, I understand your points about the 5 love languages, that four of them are emotional and one of them being emotional and physical.
In order for me to 'rise above' my own troubles, I had to 'learn' how to become more physically intimate (and I'm still learning). I don't FEEL desire the same way you all do, so on an emotional level, I must fuel my own desire. In essence, I am learning to speak my H's language, but I wouldn't say I'm fluent, you know?
Conversely, and this is just a question, not an accusation, I'm wondering if ALL of the physical desire you are feeling is really that, or a need to be reassured by your partners on a physical level. If so, do you think it may be possible to learn how to help fill what you are interpreting as a physical need through other emotional channels? If you could, do you think that the pain might be less accute?
I'm not saying I'm right here, just throwing something out there to discuss.
I personally believe to be all 'emotional' or all 'physical' in terms of meeting needs is not a balanced way to approach life. It's easy to say, 'well, that's just the way I am, that's just the way God built me.' I understand that. I think that is what gets us into these sexual messes to begin with.
So let's say we have a sliding scale, on one end write emotional, and on the other write physical. Now in terms of interacting and sharing love with your spouses only, how will you scale yourself and your perceived 'needs' from one end of the spectrum, to somewhere closer to the middle?
I can hear you all screaming right now, "but what about my spouse!! What do THEY have to do?!!" Well, let's leave them out of it for now and just see where we can head with this.
