Possible EA - sitting on the edge

[BWP]

Thanks Jasper, not going to explain that I opened it. It probably got lost in the mail. Really dug on this spy phone thing but you need the phone to set it up or you have to put the software on your own phone to get started which is a work phone so no dice.

L meeting is on Monday - I'll update then. He handles both mediation and adversarial so I've given myself some options....not sure how to pay at this point. We share a credit card that we pay for everything with and a bank account. Maybe I should open another credit card?

[jasper67]

Prob a good idea...have you thought about cxling her as an authorized user on the other? May be too soon for that.

[BWP]

I considered it but it tips my hand. I think it comes into play though once I can confirm what I'm dealing with and I build a plan.

Of course I have no idea what that is but I'm hoping one way or another to figure that out.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

What is it you want to figure out? What she is saying to him? If/where she's meeting up with him? What?

WHAT you need to know will determine what you USE to get it.

Not sure what you mean by "spy phone." But for less than $50, you can get a GPS-enabled, pay-as-you-go phone (BoostMobile) with a pretty robust GPS tracking software (MapQuest FindMe) on it.

Puppy

[BWP]

Puppy, I'm not sure but these are great questions.

I have evidence that they talk quite often on the phone through the cell phone bills but she'd say 'we are just friends'. I know I'm asking for a big smack in the gut but I want to know what those conversations are about before I'd be confident knowing what is going on. I would also want to know if/where they meet up. I guess I want proof or the absence of it.

Am I being naive? Are the phone calls enough to expose? If the worst is true and these conversations are inappropriate I want to know that so I can expose the EA. If the calls are just two old friends chatting then I keep DBing but figure out some different 180s.

I've read most of your input on these boards and I trust your experience and instincts so if you have any thoughts let me know.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Then you would need to HEAR the calls, in which case I would put a voice-activated recorder under the front seat of her car.

Something like this:

eBay

[Allen A]

Ken here figured out how to record the calls on his cell or something like that too...

Sneaky stuff, but if you want to make an omlette ya gotta break some eggs...

The fact that your wife BWP is dismissing YOUR feelings for her OWN privacy is NOT a good sign...

The fact that she has to put the word just in there is enough for me to be confident she's got her feet in the pool.

If she didn't like him, she wouldn't NEED to say "just"... why "just"... what does the "just" signify? Why is the "just" necessary?

Why can't she say "we're friends" and leave it at that?

[BWP]

Puppy I have the voice-activated recorder ready to go. I'm thinking of putting it in the car on weekends.

The pattern of the cell bill has her calling him around the times she goes to the gym on the weekends and in the office during the week (if needed) as she works from home when not traveling.

I think I should share more about the conversation we had last August which maybe helps to see how much I screwed up. Then maybe we can figure this out together?

I don't think I gave all the detail when I started the thread but when I walked in on her texting I saw OM name and part of that text. It said 'legally binding contract' and then I didn't catch the rest.

In my lame way I stewed for 2 weeks and tried to 'witness' her doing it again but she obviously had cooled it by then so when I blew up I think I said 'what's going on with OM' and at that time I called it an EA. She laughed at it....makes sense since I didn't really have proof.

This is when she called me controlling, jealous dropped the bomb there was absolutely no concern for me and before I knew it I had thrown her phone across the room. She left and went to her parents.

So if I expose without something a bit more concrete like a convo taped or email with some clear indication. I think I get no where in busting this affair.

Allen, I could get the cell phone software but I can't add anything to my phone to do it. So for now I'm relying on the intel I could gather elsewhere.

If I don't get the proof I think I still need to set some boundaries for myself with W because this doesn't seem to be going anywhere good.

Sorry for rambling.

[Allen A]

How about her computer? Can you get into the email?

[BWP]

I can't get into her computer but I've installed a keylogger on mine. She uses mine to log into her Yahoo mail and FB account. Who knows I may start getting real intel by the weekend.