How to approach W about OM

[OfficerInNeed]

I had to do a little shopping today. Before I told my W I was going to do some shopping and left.

While I was out.. .

My friend called and I asked him how the situation at work is going. He told me the following.

He walked into briefing this morning and seen OM walking away from the seating area where my W was sitting. According to my friend she usually sits next to him in briefing and sometimes he would stand up.

My friend then told me he worked directly with OM and at one point my wife walked past and stood there for 10 min or so just watching them two work and engaged in small talk.

Later on OM approached my friend and said "I don't know what do to, we talked for like 10 min" and said my wife told him the following "I finally found a friend, someone I can talk to and now I am not allowed to talk to you" then from what OM told my friend he told her "We really can't talk like we did, I cant go through what I did with my wife again, it cant happen"

I decided to call OMW but now answer, so I called OM and according him it is not like it was before that yes there is random chit chat but no personal talk like there was in the past.

I questioned OM about interactions between he and my W and he would not admit to the conversation them two had today. I once again told him how determined I was to make my marriage work and he needed to step back. He claims he understood. I then encouraged him to work on his family and that I am happy things are going well for them. He said "I think she upset because she lost a friend" and proceeded to say "It won't be me but I cant speak for the next person who might see her upset and talk to her."

I am not sure if OM is afraid of my reaction and that is why he stepped around telling exactly what happened. He knows my friend could tell me everything anyway so why not say it. He may also fear that I would tell his wife an as a result would create huge problems for their home life.

After this call I called a therapist and have an appointment scheduled for 3/31.

Shortly after my W text me and asked "How's shopping?" which was coincidental. She then told me "Let me know when your on your way home" I finished shopping TM her I was on my way back and she helped put the groceries away.

It could be much worse. This is very mild compared to what others on this forum are dealing with but that attachment still exist and I am not sure if this is all part of the withdrawal process.

Also my wife took my phone again and went through my text and call history. I did tell her I called the therapist and have an appointment setup for next week Wednesday.