You need to get yourself together either way...if she is bluffing..you want her to come back to someone that is healthy and ready to rebuild. If she is gone..you need to be strong to carry on. I know it is difficult..but you really really really need to detach from her. No wine..no coffee..no talks..no nothing. You truly have nothing to lose here.
From reading through your post...I am not sure you ever went dark..not judging because it is NOT easy. Now to the present- muster up every ounce of courage you can muster up..and go dark. She doesn't realize what she will be losing because she really hasn't lost it yet..IMO.
