I was absent for a bit of time, trying to cope with the sadness of the sitch.
To answer you question, I have been applying the principles for about 3 weeks now, I know is not very long, but before that I was pretty good too, no approaching for sex, just backing off.
It has been 2 1/2 months since we last have sex, if that is what you want to call a 5 minute hurried up, lets get this done kind of thing. And for that I waited a month, and for the previous another month.
We used to have sex once a week in the beginning, which made me so miserable, now I see that as the good old days ...I feel like crying.
Since his depression started our sex life has gone down hill, but I don't think he is depressed anymore...truly, besides his depression was mild. I am getting angry that he is using the depression defense now as a way of justifying his lack of interest. I am not being harsh, really. I haven't even voiced my suspitions to him, since I prefer to say nothing in case I am mistaken and I cause more damage than anything else. I am being very loving and no nagging at all.
Also I have started to take care of me again. My anger and pain had me so consumed that I stopped taking care of me, now I went and got a great hair cut, I bought some new clothes and I have just started to exercise again.
Even though the book tells me I am in the right path I have this nagging feeling that he thinks he is off the hook instead.
I am so sad that every time I read the SSM book I start to cry (he doesn't know this, he thinks I am happier now)
See, the problem is that he is very loving , hugs and kisses (well gradmother kisses, but I take them anyway), he hold me all the time and is soooo painful that I can't go any further with this. I used to start things from there, now, I just hug him and kiss him with enthusiasm, just like he does, but THERE IS NEVER EVEN A HINT OF SEXUAL DESIRE, nothing, nada from him. Is like he think sex doesn't exist.
I don't know if this is the right approach anymore
