Just a quick question: the changes you've made -- no pressure, minimum nagging, etc. -- how long has it been since you started to improve (i.e., "less" pressure") and how long since you've "finished" improving ("no" pressure)? The reason I ask is that I know at times in my own relationship, while I may think I'm doing noticeably better, it's only because I know my own thoughts and, to my W, my efforts are still below (or just barely visible on) her radar screen. I also bet that to you, it feels like just about forever.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it will take awhile before your husband even consciously notices the changes. Then, after he does, he may well decide to wait awhile longer to see if you "mean it." Of course, he may also just be dense, too; I know I've heard that from my wife often enough.
Also, are these changes ones you're making because you feel you should -- in other words, that they're things you feel you should change regardless of your husband's reaction -- or because you're expecting your husband to notice and reciprocate? If they're not for yourself, they're not genuine, and he'll probably pick up on that as well. But assuming they are because you truly want to change for yourself, be patient, and he will start changing. Believe me, I know how hard and long the waiting can seem. Hang in there!
HERE is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin...sometimes he feels that there really is another way [of coming downstairs], if only he could stop bumping for a moment and think of it.
