What I want to explore is when is it not a good choice to stand
HI Bravey :-)
When you don't know if you are making a choice to stand b/c it is what you want or b/c you read things that say, give it one more day, try it again....you can do this...
You feel like greeeeeeeaaaat, maybe I do want to stand again, and your head spins... You are on information overload.
Normal everyday interactions are labeled as maybe meaning the WAS is coming back.
It made my head spin....
I think the information here given to the wonderful people that come here should ONLY be Take care of you... You matter...
Don't even bring standing or not standing into the converstion
Once the info gets into the arena of , put on make up when he comes over, put a smile on your face, when he sees you, let him make the first move, no let her move out, don't call the lawyer, call the lawyer. Reply to the email this way... Don't reply..
When you read all of this, and you are trying to be a single mom or dad, and have your babies holding on to you at night, screaming why their mom or dad just left, it makes you want to sleep for days....it is way to much...
It is so very personal if someone wants to stand for their marriage, even if we can plainly see that they are standing for something that is abusive. The light bulb has to go off on the person.....at their own time...
The goal here is to get the self esteem up on people I think that was DBING is about..... AND we can only do that by being a cheerleader of YOU ARE GOING TO BE BETTER THAN FINE..and you will be... Put in the work to better yourselves and free yourself of what keeps you in bondage...
If these people come back or not should not even matter..
The advice should not be geared toward them coming back or not..It should focus on the LBS getting healthy soul, body and spirit... Take care of you, so then in turn you can take care of your children, your finances, your heart, your health....
THEN you are able to respond to their weird emails, their phone calls.. their crap.
Enjoy the wonderful life that is out there to be lived.... Get your footing back.......
If the focus is on the LBS becoming the best person they can be, then you don't have to worry about , is your stand good enough... Did you stand long enough....
Am I doing enough? maybe if I did this, they would come back?
THE GOAL IS YOU........ fall in love with YOU again.
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
