I truly understand and appreciate your comments. I guess I am being selective about when to let her call the shots and when not to. As for the party, I am pretty indifferent about it. I guess I want her to invite me because she wants me there and it will make me feel better about where things are going. I am not the kind of person who goes places he is not welcome. If she doesn't want me there, I don't want to be there. But I am truly indifferent. If I don't go I will enjoy the break and the time alone. If I go, I will make the best of it. My wife likes a certain level of control. One of her gripes from the beginning was that I always put myself first and not her and what she wants. She wants someone who puts her first. I have thought that pushing back on what she wants in this case could reinforce her belief that I do only what I want despite what she asks. When it came to raising and caring for two twin infants she would get angry when I would question or challenge her decisions -- as if to say I don't trust she's doing the right thing as a mother. I know her comfort as a caring mother and going to a party are pretty far apart, but I am trying to be fair and agreeable to her needs without as you so succinctly put it becoming a wimp. It seems so contradictory to stand up to her wishes because it feels like, again, I am challenging her and pushing back and causing stress. It feels like it will only push her further away. Thoughts?
