Unfortunately many stand to be martyr's, problem with that is, unless you are being a martyr for a worthwhile cause, no one really cares.
What do I care, or what should anyone care, for what other people think in this?
Is it unhealthy to stand for a marriage?
...
It is not that cut and dry.
It is unhealthy to be in denial? Long term, more than likely.
It is not the cut and dry to suggest that long terms standers are hurting themselves. There is far more to this, than black and white.
Variables: Is the spouse really in MLC. Is the LBSer growing, but keeping the door open for the possibility or a reconcilliation. How much time is too much?
There are so many different factors that their is no one thing that say if you are standing for 2 years you are STUCK.
I have a huge problem with telling someone whether or not they should hope. It is not my job, or place, and who the F am I to take away someone's hope.
That is why I absolutely believe it is up to the LBSer. I think that as the LBSer grows and developes past the person they were when they first came here...they get the tools to decide how long is enough.
What about the spouses that come back aft 2 years...or 4...did the LBS in that situation wait too long? Was it unhealthy for them?
...
On the flip side?
Are there people I 'worry' about here?
I think there are people we all worry about...
But again, they need to figure it out.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
