You are correct that as individuals we can make the decision any time we want. What you are implying though are really two questions.
The first;
Quote:
What I want to explore is when is it not a good choice to stand.
This is a good question. What if the sack of ashes was hot out of the oven? Would somebody still dump the ashes on their head or think about it for a second? Would somebody pour that same bag of hot ashes over themselves if they had been drinking all night and were plastered out of their mind? Would they do it they were plastered with a bunch of plastered friends egging them on and nobody was thinking about the burn they would get?
I would say no to the first one, maybe to the second one, and quite possibly to the third. What has been helpful for a lot of us is to detach, breathe, think, and then decide as opposed to just doing. We don't ask people to stand up...we help them get to a place were they stand up for the right reasons. so the bad time to stand up...is when you haven't slown down enough to think.
Why do people stand up for so long?...depends on the person. I think in some cases it is a self-esteem issue, but in others it is a commitment to principles. In others it may be that they truly haven't had enough pain to fall out of love and others due to the financial implications.
There are some people on here who have been here for a long time, but there is many, many more who have been here, got through it, and moved on. Some may just stick around because they have friendships on here.
In the end...people will stop standing when the time is right for them.
