My advice is to know what you want and to not agree to things you do not agree with.
Find ways to understand what your wife is feeling and why. Instead of focusing on what you are potentially losing or the fears you have, try placing your focus on understanding and hearing what she does say to you.
This is not an active thing though. I'm not suggesting that you pepper her with questions under the guise of "understanding you better." Keep your conversations kind and compassionate, but remain firm about your convictions regarding your personal feelings regarding the marraige. Just make sure you are listening.
It's possible she feels as though she has lost herself. It's also possible she feels she lost the man she thought she was marrying. Your work for now is to rediscover that man, except in a new and improved version.
Don't allow yourself to get negatively obsessed about a potential separation. I believe it is quite possible for a marriage in distress to benefit from a time apart. The key here is that she is the one who needs space, not you. She needs to be the one who initiates the separation, and I think she needs to be the one to go. Your role is to be understanding and supportive (within reason and in line with convictions). Don't make her think that if she leaves for a period of time that you will cut her out of your life, or that you will try to take the children from her.
Support, encourage, empathize. Care for yourself, as she is unable to help with you right now. YOu will need strength and a teflon skin to handle the tough days. Focus on your love for her and your desire to see this made right one day down the line.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
