Standing, When DB'ing becomes unhealthy

[Bworl]

If your spouse has divorced you AND remarried another, and you still attach the label "stander" to yourself, I think there is significant and unhealthy denial taking place.

I don't mean to say that you have to move on and find another person or even get remarried yourself. But if your ex-spouse is now remarried, there cannot be anything healthy about continuing to THINK as though perhaps one day things will come around again.

Would a new divorce be right just in order to restore your previous marriage? Definitely hitting some grey areas there, at least for me.

Short of that scenario, I have no problem with anyone choosing to "stand" for their marriage. My hope would be that NO ONE would put their life on hold for someone who has walked away in a definitive manner. There is too much life out there to be lived and enjoyed to spend too long waiting for someone who is never even thinking about you.


However much we would like to think otherwise, sometimes people change their mind. My ex-wife told me for years that she shared my belief in marriage as a lifetime thing. Clearly she changed her mind about that. If I had put my life on hold, hoping that she would change her mind again, I would be stuck in the same place for nearly four years now.