That is what I am asking myself daily. Some days I get angry and think let some other sap have her. But then I remember the good times. Keep in mind, you are only getting one side of the story. I hope I'm not coloring the sitch too much in my favor.
I'm sure she would apply a lot of her own negative adjectives to me. Maybe I'm a codependent and I am addicted to helping. I need to be needed. I can fix almost anything, maybe I think I can fix this, too.
She would say in WAS-speak, she has felt alone for years. I don't talk to her. When she is on the road and calls to check in, I don't want to talk to her. When she gets home, it is like I don't care if she is there or not. I've said some snarky remarks to reinforce that "it not mattering if she is there or not". And that I won't support her in her social events.
She is smart, kind, and I want to say considerate (just not always towards me). She incredibly driven when it comes to work. I'm stupid proud of her accomplishments in her career.
We still have fun together, as long as it is something she wants to do and within her comfort zone.
This has been a long time coming. Years ago her mother (who also works outside the home) told her she needed to work less and spend time with her H. She was very upset at that.
I guess I still love her despite our differences.
I know its easy to see how you've failed in every respect with your spouse. We've all been there, alot of us will take 100% responsibility for the failure of the relationship.
But.... that's a trap.
You didn't do everything wrong. There's 2 of you in that relationship, there's a shared mutual responsibility for the health of the relationship & marriage. If she was a workaholic, if she's always negative, if she's never nice to you, if she never wants to do things with you or share in your hobbies or other good positive things with you, after a while, you're going to stop trying, it's human nature, you can try jamming that square peg into that round hole a million times but after a while you will get the hint, it doesn't fit so stop trying. I get that vibe from you that your marriage went something like that so don't beat yourself up too much.
In fact, turn that frown upside down boy, it's time for you to shine.
If your wife wants to have an affair with another man, I think it's time for you to start considering casual dating, nothing serious and I'm not telling you to go out and hump the first skirt you go out on a date with but you need to give her a taste of her medicine ;-)
