The message that doesn't seem to be getting through is that all of your "work" lately has been in the area of predicting her behavior and "protecting" yourself from this predicted behavior.
You surely don't think that any of these people posting to you doubted that your wife was involved with another...or that she would be happy to tell the kids that you were separating/divorcing....or that she would tell you that she can't be with you anymore....or that she would rally forces to her side...
All of these, and so many more, are standard fare for this crap. THAT is what so many here are trying to get you to, not just understand, but DIGEST - ABSORB into your being.
Your actions and words show that you do NOT understand what is being said. You see the tree, and you are completely missing the forest.
This stuff sucks to high heaven. Staying emersed in it day after day sucks even worse - hence TRUE detachment. Acting and reacting in your same old patterns just makes the sucky stuff suck more - hence WORK ON YOURSELF. Co-habitating with a former spouse who now dismisses you and disrespects you by sending hot and bothered text messages to another man compounds the suckiness of the sucky stuff - hence GETTING A LIFE. Allowing your emotional state to be tied to the behaviors of someone who is wacked out on MLC makes you suck too - hence DROPPING the ROPE.
There is a way through this.
It is NOT by trying to anticipate/predict the next offense or what lies around the bend. Protect yourself, yes. Try to anticipate what she's thinking and what she's going to do next? That's a prescription for madness.
Gather your info Eric. Then how about you leave her madness alone. Did you think this was going to turn around in a couple weeks or months? Did you honestly believe that a woman who has been planning and rationalizing her escape for probably longer than a year was simply going to drop her labored over plans because you told her that you get it, that you're going to become a better man?
Come on Eric. You're brighter than this.
She is winning. Not that this is a game. But in many respects its like that contest they used to have every once in awhile where a bunch of people stand around a new car and touch it with their hand - the last one standing wins the car.
How are you going to be the last one standing when you are wearing yourself out day in and day out worrying over something you have absolutely no control over?
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
