Tough stuff to hear. I've kinda been comforted by having her stuff is here. It makes me think she is considering returning. But then I think how lazy, procrastinating, and conflict avoidant she is and chalk it up to that. It is just to difficult for her to do, so she avoids it. I guess I need to help her with that.
Read that part I highlighted above, your wife knows this about you, because you've been pursuing her and she is in control right now and you aren't in control. So her leaving her stuff behind keeps you in line, you'll be a good little boy should she decide to return if she decides at all. She doesn't feel this way, especially when she's having an affair, she is emotionally driven, her feelings are leading the way here, not logic while you're logic is leading the way here. Your logic: she left her things here, maybe she will come back, why else would she leave her things behind? At least now I can continue hoping she'll come back.
Reality, observe reality, follow reality. If she wants to leave, her feelings are telling her to leave, so let her, going against her feelings is going against her so don't go against her feelings, agree with them.
"Wife you're right, it's not working out, we should go our separate ways, you should be with the other guy, in fact I hope you're happy with him, time for me to find someone else too, I hope it works out for you, no hard feelings, bye."
She wants to move out, help her. Pack her things in boxes, put all of her stuff on the driveway or in the garage, send her an email telling her that you've done her a favor and packed up all of her things and put them in boxes for her, you're doing some clean up in the house and if you find anything else, before you throw it out, you'll send her a list of things that you're getting rid of. Don't tell her why you're cleaning up the house, she will ask, trust me. When she asks, same day, a day or two later or a week later, you will tell her that you are cleaning up the house and turning it into a bachelor's pad, getting it ready because you started dating again too and wanted the house to look like a single person lives there ;-)
