Db not working, MLC spouse pushing D

[foreverhesaid]

Well, today my H wanted to talk about divorce again and said that he was surprised that I had not brought it up to him! I guess he expected me to initiate the conversation.

He wanted to know if I was interested in collaborating, or if it would have to be 'the messy divorce' with lawyers because he claims I never want to talk about it! I countered with 'how can I know if I agree to anything if we haven't yet tried?"

I agree with Jack3B in that I guess he is starting to get pressure from OW. THis would be his weekend where he would see her (every other weekend we have 2 full days off and he finds ways to disappear) so I suspect he would have to report back to her. As you know from my earlier posts this past week he was kindness itself, cooking dinner, spending time playing games, yesterday he even tried to initiate ML. However, today its a whole different animal. Now he wants to sit down and go through our assets and start divvying things up, can't get out of here soon enough. Said 'this has been going on long enough and its not fair to you for me to stay when I don't want to be here..."

Hmm, there are alot of things that are not fair to me about this situation, but funny how the fairness hinges on his behavior.

I tried to validate and told him we could list our assets but that I didn't agree to anything. He slammed things around, sat at the dining room table and scribbled out a list of stocks, our cars, etc. then flung it at me and said, "can you think of anything else?" As if I keep a running total in my head or something. For 13 years he has always handled our finances, and suddenly he expects me to have a grip on everything we own. <sigh>

Then he stormed out, stating he was not coming to work today (evening shift). If I know anything about his previous MLC behavior, he won't be home when I get home either - will probably have left for the entire weekend. I know, expectations low for a MLC, but it would surprise me if he came back to work for friday, even thought we have a full day then.

KJensen, I have looked into the abyss as far as what life would be like without my husband. I know that I can survive but it really isn't what I wanted. My husband was a good man, even a great one, and I just can't believe that that man is totally dead. I just feel like he's confused and has been lead astray, and I guess I feel like the divorce would be giving up. What burns me the most is I feel like the OW gets to enjoy all of the good things about my husband and I get nothing, despite my years invested in our relationship. Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself, and don't know how long that will continue.

Financially after a divorce I would be fine, I always made more $ than my husband and at least I don't have to worry about that. But the thought of handling things emotionally is just exhausting.