The alimony was going to hurt a lot for me. They were asking for $1200 a month if she lived with OM and $2000 a month if her and OM broke up. For 5 years (half the length of marriage). In addition to child support and my paying for all the kids extracurriculars and school, I dont know if I could have scraped by.
The amount and duration of alimony can be changed in my state depending upon changes in income or disabled. For instance, if my XW were to get in an accident and could not work again, they could change the alimony duration to be indefinite. But if alimony is not on the final divorce judgment, there is no way to come back later on and have it added.
Therefore, my L negotiated a buyout of alimony as part of the division of assets so that alimony was not on the final divorce judgment. They started high at $50G and we offered $30G. They came back with $40G and sweetened it by offering me the ability to claim both kids for tax purposes. I was able to refinance the house to pay off all of the buyout and division assets and I only have $300 a month added on to my house payment.
One advantage for the payer of alimony is that it can be deducted from taxes. The receiver has the disadvantage that they have to claim it as income. A buyout is a tax free transaction. Your state may differ.
Something to think about if you do end up going down the D road.
My attny feels that she will more than likely fight for the kids since it financially benefit her to have them most of the time. I should have NOT paid down the debt and given most of the money to my attny.
She is gone. She is sick and she will cause a tremendous amount of damage before she is done. I know in my heart that in a few years she will come back to appologize by them though the damage has been done. I can say right now that pushing aside the anger...I begining to feel nothing for her. Nothing. The women I married died. She is dead.
She has manipulated my oldest against me, which I understand is a common MLC trait but needless to say she has totally screwed me. I know I will survive. I know I will be better because of this. Right now I may not see it but I know at some point in the future I will rise above this sh*t. When..who knows...only God.
MLC sucks - it is a home wreaker. A destructor of any love. It really sucks.
Assumptions, all of them, and only helping to cause you to spin in the wind. Kill the assumptions. Live in the now. Deal with what is happening NOW.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Dude you know me..I do not want this and have instructed to L to stop the process. I am only trying to find out what the finacial are. That is all.
To answer the question...I suppose you mean giving up control.
FTR - I am going to switch places with her and have her move into the bedroom while I move to the sofa. I do not want my kids to see that mommy is on the sofa. They will not understand and will look at me as being the bad guy. I'd love you thoughts on this one.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I hear you about the assumptions. I do. However, every assumption I've had so far has happened. Every single one.
1) OM - yep 2) OM2 - yep 3) poisioning my son against me - yep 4) using her brother in law as her legal advisor - yep 5) blaming mommy for her issues - yep 6) contacting a L - yep
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
they are just bad things to have man. You can be right 100% of the time with your assumptions but your still an asshat for having them about someone without talking to them.
Assumptions kill communication...you are here to also learn how to be a better person, and a better person learns how to communicate.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
