Tal, congrats on the job offer and good luck with making a decision. Is your sister good to bounce ideas off? Or another close friend? Just because H isn't around doesn't mean you're alone.
I've never had a bad perception of D because I've grown up with it. My mom divorced my biological father because he was cheating on her and has another child six months younger than me. I know that was the right decision to make and he proved it through his actions--he cheated on and left his second(?) wife.
I do think it's too easy to get D and people are too quick to cut and run. But I also understand that there are circumstances that make it untenable to remain legally bound to someone.
I'm happy to hear you have a L. I thought you were still going pro se with some legal advice on the side. You're absolutely right about getting the best possible outcome for you.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
i think the same thing about being divorced...especially at such a young age!! everyone tells me, oh you're young, you'll find someone else pretty quickly...but it took me 27 years to find my H!! i don't know where i get the idea that i'll be "damaged goods" (and really, aren't we all??) if i end up divorced, or that people won't want to be in a relationship with a 30 year old woman who's divorced. where does that come from? something to talk about with my IC, for sure. my parents have been married for 40 years. i guess i just really wanted to be able to say the same thing...and not have to apply it to my second marriage.
did you decide anything about the job??
Me30 H29 M2.5 T5 H moved out 1/23/2010 H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010 ...feeling hopeless
My mom remarried at 26 and has been married to my dad for 32 years. My BFF's mom and stepdad have been married for 26 years. Both of those men married D'd women with daughter(s). Second marriages can be good.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
HI All, Decided to take the job. 60 Day trial basis - its not perfect so I want an out if its not right. They seemed perfectly happy with that! I'm going to keep looking in the meantime and just be sure I don't miss any opportunities. Gotta pay the mortgage....
H thinks we are negotiating.... UGH... arguing with me about my proposal. I see L on Monday so if he's still being that way I am just going file myself with that proposal. I'm done with the BS...
Pearl - my mom and my sis have been helping me with the decisions! I was just suprised to identify that particular feeling...Funny how they sneak up on you...
T
ME28,WAH30, M 5YRS, T 7YRS ,OW/ILYBNILY/SEP 9/09 Served with D papers 6/6/10 Current
Congrats on the job! And, hey, you beat me to it... I was going to ask if you could do a 90-day trial! Then, see what bubbles up in the meantime!
I really think your H is a douche.
Just sayin'...
YOU, on the otherhand... are very... efficient! Wish our company could afford you! I could use another efficient female to help boss around my minions!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Pearl, thank you for helping us in our fight with limiting beliefs. I get a stir of emotions when I read about people getting nasty with their spouses during D or accepting D right away and move on being friends. I realize it's all because of those deep rooted beliefs about D.
Talia, sorry for hijack. Good luck at your new work place, hope you'll like it more once you start.
Oh, thought of another one. My friend K married at 23, found out her H had lied about owing tens of thousands in back child support and taxes. After he moved out, while he was trying to get her to take him back, OW was calling K's house looking for her H. Blech. Finally saved up enough money to file for D.
She ended up meeting a great guy and remarried at 27. Now they have two kids and continue to have a great R (she's the RL friend I turn to most often for R advice because I know she's been there and made it through).
Again, I'm all for saving M's if possible and good for you. But if it ends in D that doesn't mean your life is over. You can move forward and have a great M with a person who wants to work on it with you.
Last edited by pearlharbr; 03/26/1004:42 AM.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
thanks, pearl!