Spouse Suffering From Depression

[Lucky11too]

H is really making an effort this week. He text me in the middle of the day "hi" (which is extremely rare for him to do) and then he was there when I went to pick up S that night. Originally he wasn't going to come back with me to the house b/c he was going to go help one of his girl co-workers move who was getting kicked out of her place (not sure how I feel about that. Like i said before, I 'm glad he has a good heart and wants to help people, and I'm sure that's harmless, but still, at what point do oyu draw the line), but I guess that fell thru or he just didn't end up going and came over to see me and S instead. It went ok. Once again, H was really getting on my nerves. He's just such a selffish person and that continues to keep popping out.

Some of the things discussed - He told me about how he's picking up a new bartending shift to make more money and will pick up any other ones that come available. In my eyes, that means even less time for him to spend with S, but in his eyes, all he sees are dollar signs. It's sad. He did say though, that he now sees the value of trying to see S whenever he can, ever if it's just for an hour. I hope that's true and he follows thru on that then. On the negative side, I mentioned something about his dad, then he starts blaming me on how it's all my fault that his dad hates him b/c his dad hates him b/c I left him (uh, yeah, not sure how that makes any sense in his mind, but hello, his dad hates him b/c he's acting like an idiot and was abandoning that two best things in his life to go out and party! So how is this my fault again?) But anyways, I've learned not to engage him or try to argue with him, so i just said that that wasn't true and moved on.

Of real interest though, is that yesterday H got a noticed that his building was being foreclosed on and they would all have to move. To H, this is great. He already wanted to move out b/c his roommate was getting on his nerves but he didn't want to cause waves by moving out. So now he has an excuse to move and they're actually paying him to do so. So yesterday, he went out and already found a 1 bedroom appartment he wants to move into. It's hard b/c I know he is not in a state yet where we should move back together, but on the other hand, I fear that he may get too comfortable in this new place, and that will never happen.

Also yesterday, I told H I would call to make the appt for his surgery, but then when I discussed dates with him, he said he didn't want to do it until June now b/c of this whole move uncertainity. OMG, it's always something! Is this ever really going to happen?

Last frustration, going back to what I said in the above post, my Inlaws! Ug. When I was dropping off S this morning, S got really mad that I put up a new gate to stop him from going upstairs. My FIL was holding him, and he starts screaming and hitting him in the face. My FIL just sat there as S is slugging him in the face, so then finally out of frustration, I run over, grab S out of his arms and throw him in time out. They are creating a monster and basically undermining all the discipline I do when I'm with him. It's so frustrating! Counting down...5 months until preschool...