CBT would not be used to help someone ignore or forget an A in my experience. A lot of times, a person becomes negative, pessimistic and depressed and the associated withdrawal from the spouse sets the stage for an A. After an A is uncovered, a BS may have intensely negative thoughts such as:
How can I go on? I am a terrible person/spouse/lover etc. I will never find love again
These negative thoughts keep us locked in a cycle of despair and prevent healing. CBT gives you the tools the challenge these thoughts as being largely irrational. Once you are able to challenge these negative thoughts that keep you depressed you are able to see things in a more positive light which allows you to begin healing and healing is a necessary step whether the WS stays or goes.
