CL, I wish I had all the answers and could tell you what you need to do. But alas I don't. Even as positive I see my sitch is going. It is still fragile and I too have that feeling that I may do something and loose all of the ground gained this last year. This board is not the medium you and I need to work this out. Meeting at a pub over a beer I think you and I would have a better chance. Two things that naej said... (And I finely figured out she was a woman) was... Like your dancing, you master and perfect the steps and routine with a compelling dedication but what is your facial expression telling your partner. Dancing is not just steps it is feeling an outward display of the moods and passions in your soul.
This is your strong point. Maybe if you try to think of your R as one of your dance venues will help.
The other thing she said and I have heard this before. Is that Alpha Male thing. If we sit back and look at the ‘men’ and I use that word loosely that our wives chose. They are uncaring of others, they are / were A## holes that treated our wives as objects not persons. They treated us with total dis respect. I think both you and I have a problem with this because we are “good guys” I guess sometimes just maybe you and I need to become Alpha male A## holes to keep our wives.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
