SecondChance - It's so hard to understand how and why the sane, rational and loving person we married can turn into someone that is only concerned about themselves and their 'happiness'. To add to it they can't understand why anyone is upset with them for what they've done.
The things your H is doing echoes across this board. Most of them seem to be doing the same type of things just in different sitchs.
Don't worry about ranting. This is the place to do that and we don't take it personally, and we certainly understand it. As you get farther along on your journey you'll discover that you have the answer to most of your questions in you already, but it always good to throw them out there because you may be able to look at it differently when you get other perspectives on it.
Detachment is for us, the LBS. It gives us a time out from our spouse's antics to pull back, regroup, and figure out how to proceed, and what WE want.
This is yet another of life's journeys. One we didn't ask for, but are on nonetheless. We do have choices though. We can choose to learn and grow from this or choose to turn our backs and walk away. No one here would blame you for either path. You will find support and advice either way while making up your mind which way to go.
